At school I was what you might call a loner – very few friends, didn’t join in any of the team sports, eventually found I was a little better at individual ones. As you may have guessed, I was more into computers and understanding how things work.
After leaving school, the only sport I really did was orienteering – a mix of thinking and cross-country. That lasted until the end of my teens, when long hours at work took over.
Now my kids are going to sports clubs, I’ve realised I find it difficult to fit in with the other parents. I feel like an outsider.
I don’t have any target in mind for how brilliant my child will become or what position they should play. I just want them to have fun, to try and see if they like it – not in a half‑hearted way – and, more importantly, to understand how to communicate, encourage and utilise each other, even if they lose. Those soft skills will be more valuable, in my view, than being captain or lifting trophies at the end‑of‑season awards.
Maybe I just don’t have the urge to be the winner. I’m happy being the support act, and letting them have their own relationship with sport.
I’m happy to watch every training session and match, quietly observing how the team works together. I stand there giving a gentle nod, or sticking my tongue out at them every now and then.
But the atmosphere I feel amongst the other parents, and in the clubhouse, makes me feel like I’m outside some secret society – not using the same code words, not discussing tactical decisions at length.
In a place that’s supposed to foster collaboration, I simply feel alone.
I’d rather have my laptop with me, tinkering away at whatever currently has my interest, than get into conversations where I feel awkward.
Maybe my relationship with sport as a child has moulded me this way. I’m not saying the “sports parent” world is wrong – we’re all different – and I don’t particularly care what people think of me.
I just want my kids to know that I do care - just differently.
No comments yet